Oct 24 2007

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How Could This Happen to Such a Nice Girl?

PHOTO: My daughter and I when we first moved to Miami. She was 21, I was 47. We were just a normal mom and daughter who had moved back in with each other, moving to a new town to start over after both ending a couple of long term relationships that went bad.

She was looking for a new relationship so she could start a family.

After being married for 24 years, I was newly single with no clue about dating and sex in the 21st century.

We were both perfect targets for Online Sexual Predators!


I’m 53 years old as I look back at this time in our lives. Our short careers in Porn Valley lasted a year and a half, from November of 2007 until July of 2009. It was one of the most eye opening experiences I’ve had in all those years. Unfortunately, it was also eye opening for my youngest daughter, who was way too young to see and experience so much at the age of 21. I could’ve lived several lifetimes not knowing what I know today thanks to Porn Valley. I would’ve paid any price for my daughter to have not had to experience what Porn Valley has put her through over the past 5 years since we left.  Blissfully blind would’ve been a saving grace rather than learning what has been going on all around us for all these years in what American’s fondly call ‘the Los Angeles adult entertainment industry’ or ‘Porn Valley’ for short.

I was born in 1960 and grew up in a small town in the Midwest during the sexual revolution. I became your typical stay at home housewife and mother of 3 kids, a husband and 2 pets. That was still the norm for women back then so my goal was to find a husband and settle down to have children. I could’ve gone to college but it wasn’t what most girls my age were doing at that point in time and I was no different. I loved children so I had always wanted a big family. It was 1986 when I had my third and last child, a beautiful baby girl. By the time I had 3 babies at home, I knew the reality of raising them wasn’t easy so we decided this baby girl would be our last and we went about raising our family.

That baby girl was 21 years old the day she entered the so-called legal porn industry located in Miami, Florida and Los Angeles, California. The level of technology in our personal lives when she was born 1986 was the VCR and heavy/bulky home video cameras. We didn’t have cellphones yet but carphones came along in the early 90s. VCRs were brand new technology for personal use in the home so the final video results were still mediocre quality clips at best. My 3 kids grew up with increasingly advanced technology though as the internet moved into our homes as well as our small businesses during their childhoods. I’ve watched firsthand how our supposed “cyber freedom” has affected their young lives and the choices given to them as they’ve grown into the first generation of adults raised on chat rooms, social networking, online porn and violent video games.

After my second divorce and shortly before going to work in the porn industry, I tampered with the whole cyber dating scene, being coached through the process by all the younger people in my life that were doing it as their primary dating source. I found it to be full of sexual predators and stalkers once I understood how it all worked. I was almost assaulted on 2 separate occasions by men I met from the dating site “Plenty of Fish”. They were 2 definite sickos I affectionately nicknamed McFreaky and McCreepy. I know a few women who have had extortion attempts from men they’ve met there. To me, it’s just not worth the risk so I don’t consider it a viable option to meet quality people. I prefer to meet prospective suitors locally and in person.

Paying a membership fee on dating sites can help discourage some inexperienced perverts but many predators get outed on the free sites after a while so they have to step it up to others or fly under aliases if they want to continue to find fresh victims. I hadn’t dated since 1980 so I found that technology most definitely put a whole new spin on getting laid or finding a boyfriend and husband. I had no idea what I was getting myself into!

I was 47 in October of 2007 and working at a prominent investment firm in Sarasota , Florida. My daughter called me one day on my work line to tell me she was headed to Ft. Lauderdale for a new job opportunity. The economy was tanking everywhere and her latest paycheck had just bounced, closing her bank account and making bills blow up. She was looking for work and she was a dog groomer by trade. Unfortunately, people don’t spend as much on pets during hard times so in our area, bigger groom shops were laying off people and more and more smaller ones were closing their doors every day.

In fact, the job market had gotten so bad, we had decided to move to Miami where I had an “in” into the financial market there. We had both just ended relationships that went bad (my 2nd divorce, in fact) and had moved back in together, this time as roommates instead of mom and daughter.  Many parents and adult children started living together during this time as the real estate market kept sinking and many were facing homelessness due to foreclosures. Even the job I currently had didn’t pay what it used to and I couldn’t support us both. I was lucky to have benefits which took a chunk of what little I did make. Benefits were going away across the country as well, or costing the employees that had them a lot more as their paychecks were shrinking. America was faced with an economic disaster most of us had never even come close to experiencing before.

We had our new apartment already reserved in Miami and were expected to move in 2 weeks. We were currently living only 5 hours from Miami so we had taken a couple of short trips there to make the decision about moving and then to find a place once we decided it was a good choice for us. I already had most of our stuff packed and in temporary storage. We were moving into a small place which was furnished so we didn’t need much. Once we got settled and working, we could get a bigger place and bring over our things. To begin, we got a month to month lease which is easy to find in Florida due to the tourism and snowbirds we have each winter. We had already started over when we moved back in together so this was a job and location change only. Other than a longer drive to see our family, I expected life to go back to normal with the benefit of having Miami to explore and experience and not worrying about running into our exes.

When she started the conversation, I was excited as soon as I heard the word “job”, thinking she was going for an interview close to our new home.  She could start in 2 weeks when we were expected to move so the timing was perfect. It was already mid-afternoon so I questioned why she’d be leaving this late for a job interview in Miami. She was hesitant with information telling me we could talk about the details when she got back. She wanted to get on the road because it was a 5 hour drive. That answer simply caused me to ask her more questions and I told her I needed more information before she could go. She said the people were providing her with a place to stay for the night so she could go to the job interview the next morning. Slowly the details began to emerge as I asked what kind of job has immediate needs and housing available so she had to get there so late at night. It all seemed so urgent like she had to act right now and without thought or preparation. I never like those type of situations because it’s usually a scam when they don’t give you time to think about what you are doing.

From there, the conversation went downhill fast. She told me she had a modeling job that she had gotten from posting a profile on a popular online modeling site. Of course, this sent alarms going off in my head like sirens blaring in the streets. As I kept pressing her for details, it became very clear to me that she was about to get herself into some real big trouble that she would have no idea how to deal with or get herself out of so I told her she couldn’t leave until I got home from work. I needed some time to think about the best way to combat this new challenge. I knew my youngest daughter and when she got something into her head, it was next to impossible to change her mind.

They were offering her $1000 cash for one days work and she had to act right now to get the job. I told her it sounded like a shady deal and that Miami was an international port where girls and women were shipped off to be pimped in other countries. I knew what happened to girls who went into the sex industries in America. I had watched all the Lifetime movies.

We argued for several moments longer about the fact that she couldn’t go ANYWHERE until I got home and we could discuss this whole issue further. We ended the conversation heatedly, hanging up only after she reminded me she was 21 years old and could do what she pleased and I reminded her that the car she drove was registered in my name. She knew I would call the cops and report it stolen if I had to.

She knew I was a mom who wasn’t afraid to take action if needed. My kids were all healthy, happy and grown so I had done well to protect them. That is until now!