DESISDESIRES.COM

Tired But Blissfully Happy

DesiFoxx@TheFoxxs.com (Diana) — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 00:54:00 GMT

Wow is all I can really say right now lol. What a crazy busy week I've had but wonderfully positive every minute of it. I started my new job on Wednesday and spent the day helping put the office together. There were boxes of desk supplies to put away and computers to hook up. The phone and internet services were turned on late that afternoon. I got home around 7:00pm and took some time to relax before my weekly broadcast started.

My show "Pornography - Fantasy vs. Reality" for Wednesday night was a good topic but difficult to do because there was alot of reading to it. I wanted to be precise on the COPA's (Child Online Protection Act) journey through our court system so felt it was best to read the history straight from Wikipedia. Then I had the portion about government workers getting busted for spending their time at work looking at porn all day. I read specific articles I pulled so it was a tough read Then to top it all off, I was somewhat giddy with the excitement of my new job so it was hard to stay focused lol. As I watched the recorded versions, it came off okay though. The articles were so ridiculous on how many hours these guys are watching porn instead of working and getting away with it, it fit right in with my mood lol.

Thursday, I worked again and this time spent the day getting all the computers up and running on the internet. It's been awhile since I programmed computers but by mid afternoon, I had all but one going. I will work on that later. I was picked up and spent the later part of the day observing interviews with victims. That was intense, inspiring and unbelievable all at the same time. This showed me I was in the right place and gave me even more resolve that I am going to make a difference in this world!!

Friday, I worked though normally I will have Friday's off. Since I started late in the week, I got to make up some of the hours this way. I'll be working a part time schedule but enough hours that I don't have to get another job to cover my bills. I'll even have enough left over to have a life lol. This will give me more time to get involved in different community events and learn more about where I'm at and going. I spent the day cleaning up computers and reading training materials. This made me even happier to find what I'll be doing. I can't wait!!

This morning, I headed off for my out of town trip really early. I got to the walkathon on time thanks to a ride with a friend. We completed several laps, talking the whole time so I lost track of just how many laps we did lol. She headed off and I spent the rest of the day helping at our booth. That was wonderful because I listened as others answered questions and learned more myself. Then I got to talk to a few visitors myself and had a nice time sharing what I could to bring awareness to human rights and human trafficking in America. It always amazes me to hear how few out there really understand what is happening in our country. People were very perceptive though and want us to speak to their groups. I feel so blessed for each and every person who listens. For each person I can bring awareness to, that is one person closer to making changes in our country. I am truly in awe of the place I have landed in

Tonight, I'm laying around the house relaxing. My legs are telling me I walked alot today lol. I am soooo tired but blissfully so. Tomorrow, I have to do laundry, work on Wednesday's show which is on Porn Addiction and then grab a little time for myself beforing starting a whole new week. Monday night, my interview airs and I will get the link to share with you all. Many good things going on in my life and I am on top of the world. Just goes to show there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it's bright and shiny in more ways then words can describe. Ha, for once I'm speechless lol!!

A Truly Inspiring Afternoon

DesiFoxx@TheFoxxs.com (Diana) — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 16:42:00 GMT

Sunday, I spent all day researching and working on my show for Wednesday night at 10pm est. I'll be talking about the Supreme Court's refusal to hear the COPA case that would protect our children from exposure to hardcore porn on the internet. I hope you'll all join me for this informative half hour. I will take comments and questions at the end of the show for as long as you want to discuss this topic. It was a good thing I finished my script for this show on Sunday because the rest of the week promises to be very busy and hectic but I'm looking forward to every second lol.

Yesterday, I headed off on a trip out of town. I was going to a presentation by a woman from another country who was speaking out about violence against women in her country. The presentation started late so I didn't get to hear much of it but I got enough to be inspired. This woman talked about how, in her country, thousands of women were being killed every day. We saw a short video at the beginning show the genocide that was taking so many women's lives in a country who is violating so many basic human rights. She then came up and started talking about her fight to save women's lives. She said she started on her own in her living room with only passion to fight these crimes and the knowledge that something had to be done to bring awareness to their plight. I thought "I know just how you felt"!!

I have started my battle at my dining room table broadcasting my shows for the whole world to hear the truth. I have been writing about my story for almost 2 years now in my blogs. The good thing about what has been happening due to my hard work is people are starting to listen and more people are becoming aware of these issues every day. Though I got pulled out of the event to do my interview, I was told this woman said something inspiring in response to a question from one of the 75 or more who attended this important function. She was asked what we, as Americans, could do to help her fight her fight in her country. She responded "You need to fight against the violence that is happening right now to the women in America. It is happening in your own country and you can't help me until you help yourselves. Stop the violence against women in America and then we can follow your lead which will help us help our own"!! God bless this woman for her courage to stand up and speak the truth!! Everyone is always talking about what's happening in other countries because no one wants to face the fact that we have the same issues happening right here in America. I'm inspired that, even if our own people won't recognize this fact, that at least people in other countries understand we do have the same problems. This, too, can help bring more awareness to the hypocrisy going on in America and the propaganda that we are selling the rest of the world that somehow America is doing better when it comes to women's rights and equality. As women, we all know better!!

I was pulled out of this event because I was really there to do an interview with a very important person who I was excited to meet and talk to. She's an investigative journalist who has done many inspiring stories. She's won many awards and is known as a woman who is instrumental in bringing awareness to women's issues everywhere. I spent almost 3 hours with this woman talking about the porn industry, our experiences, the corrupt porn system and it's affects on all of our lives. She said I did a great job and gave her alot of really good information to get my story out there to others. It will be airing next week and she'll be sending me a link so I can post it for all of you to see.

During my time with this reporter, the time I spent with my friend who gave me a ride and what I learned from the woman from another country, I have learned even more information about what's happening to women in our country. I'll be doing research on these new issues and will include them here and in my broadcast "Women's Issues in America Today" very soon. It's as I've said before, the more I learn, the more I find about abuses against women in our country and women's rights being affected in so many negative ways. As the speaker of the event talked about how the government and the law enforcement agencies would not do anything to stop the raping and killing of women in her country, I sadly shook my head and said once again "I understand exactly how you feel about what is happening to your women". Not only are government officials and law enforcement not doing anything to protect women's lives right here in America, in many cases they are actively seeking to use and abuse the very women I am trying to save. Our country may be more high tech and have more material possessions but we aren't that much different from other countries when it comes to respecting and honoring our women!!

Today, I rode my bike over to the store to get a money order. My rent is due and once again, I've managed somehow to pay my bills. I am blessed that I have been so fortunate to have such a great support system to help me during these trying times. Sometimes I look over the past 6 months and don't know how I've made it. Part of my interview yesterday was about the woman who saved me last summer when I was at the end of my rope and didn't think I could go on. Her name is Giselle and she answered an email from a stranger that no one else answered. I cried as I talked about her because she truly saved my life the day she was the only person who responded to my cry for help. I said she is my guardian angel and I owe her my life. I've had help from many good people but this woman is truly exceptional. It is because of her that tomorrow, I start a new job and begin a new career. Tomorrow, I start working with an organization that helps get young women off the streets. We help young women who want to leave the sex industries to get out and rebuild their lives.

I am soooooo blessed that these people have come into my life. They are helping me spread the truth about the porn industry's abuses. They are giving me an avenue to help change women's lives. They have given me a new hope for life that is the best gift a person can give to another. Yesterday, they gave me an opportunity to share my story on a national media source. Tomorrow, they start giving me new opportunities to use what I've been through to make a difference in someone else's life!! God bless them all!!!

Resources and Links on Pornography Statistics and Porn Addiction

DesiFoxx@TheFoxxs.com (Diana) — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 03:46:00 GMT

I have been asked about where I get my information and statistics for the series I am doing at BlogTV and Desi's Desires Live. I thought this was a good place to post the links to where I do much of my research. You can just put "Pornography Statistics" or "Pornography Addiction" into google or bing search and you can find more than you can possibly read in a week lol. Most of my research is done on sites from government, universities, recognized experts, professors, psychologists, authors and media sources. Though there is a wealth of information from organizations and religious groups, I try not to list those here with no disrespect meant to these groups who are working so hard to help those afflicted with sex and porn addiction and those trying to rebuild their lives after working in the sex industries. I do this because the pro porn activists try to say that it's only religious zealots and feminist groups that are talking about these issues and saying there is a problem. The following list proves there's many others that feel the same way. I've even included some links from other countries who are faced with this problem that America has created. Many of these links will take you to other resource links that they have used to back up their information and statistics.

I also must state that much of my story comes from my personal experience after having spent a year and a half inside the porn industry. I spent that time talking to many veterans of the industry. I spent many hours on porn sets watching and listening. I spent even more time talking to the girls who work there. I spent time listening to the men who work there. I've had many of the damaging affects put upon myself by insiders of the porn industry who don't like me speaking out against them. Basically, I learned everything I'm talking about while I worked there and saw it first hand. After I left, I started researching to see if what I saw and learned was indeed the true facts. Here is more than enough evidence of what I'm talking about. It is truly an epidemic we're facing and the porn industry is truly trying to destroy our family values with full intent of what they are doing!! There's a whole lot more information out there, you just have to look for it!!

PORNOGRAPHY STATISTIC LINKS

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pornography

http://www.netcaucus.org/statistics/

http://www.obscenitycrimes.org/index.php

http://www.internetnews.com/bus-news/article.php/3083001

http://www.fbi.gov/publications.htm

http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/resources/FAQ.html

http://www.economywatch.com/world-industries/porn-industry.html

http://www.justice.gov/oig/reports/plus/e0107/results.htm

http://jurist.law.pitt.edu/forumy/2006/06/rape-porn-and-criminality-political.php

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28679588/

http://www.ocf.berkeley.edu/~linberly/history.html

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/shared/bsp/hi/pdfs/30_08_05_porn_doc.pdf

http://www.attorneygeneral.gov/uploadedFiles/Consumers/cybersafety.pdf

http://criminaljustice.state.ny.us/missing/i_safety/porn_dangers.htm

http://www.newworldencyclopedia.org/entry/Pornography

http://www.leg.state.fl.us/statutes/index.cfm?StatuteYear=2009&AppMode=Display_Results&Mode=Search%2520Statutes&Submenu=2&Tab=statutes&Search_String=human+trafficking

http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/bdquery/D?d111:1:./temp/~bd9lno:@@@L&summ2=m&|/bss/111search.html|

http://www.state.gov/documents/organization/10492.pdf

http://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/presidential-proclamation-national-slavery-and-human-trafficking-prevention-month

http://www.truthdig.com/arts_culture/item/20091011_the_victims_of_pornography/

http://www.obscenitycrimes.org/Senate-Reisman-Layden-Etc.pdf

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/03/12/david-ogden-confirmed-as_n_174383.html

http://familysafemedia.com/pornography_statistics.html#anchor2

http://familysafemedia.com/pornography_statistics.html#anchor5

http://www.nationalcoalition.org/statisticspornography.asp

http://shelleylubben.com/porn

http://internet-filter-review.toptenreviews.com/internet-pornography-statistics.html

http://www.forbes.com/2005/11/22/internet-pornography-children-cz_sl_1123internet.html

http://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/ojjdp/204911.pdf

http://www.ed.uiuc.edu/wp/netfiles.uiuc.edu/kleckaus/www/childpornography.html

http://www.law.stanford.edu/display/images/dynamic/events_media/Kendall%20cover%20+%20paper.pdf

http://internet.suite101.com/article.cfm/combating_internet_pornography

http://www.cnn.com/2003/TECH/internet/12/10/porn.business/

http://www.hawaii.edu/PCSS/biblio/articles/1961to1999/1999-pornography-rape-sex-crimes-japan.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_pornography

http://www.victimsfirst.gc.ca/news-nouv/bg-di/doc_ma072009c.html

http://www.israelnationalnews.com/Articles/Article.aspx/6499

http://www.cbc.ca/documentaries/doczone/2009/porndemic/index.html

http://bcis.pacificu.edu/journal/2009/10/article.php?id=621

http://www.efa.org.au/Publish/aba_analysis.html

http://www.thebluebanner.net/men-s-pornogrphy-use-exceeds-women-s-by-40-percent-1.1112211

http://www.afec.org/issues/pornography/facts.htm

PORNOGRAPHY ADDICTION

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pornography_addiction

http://blog.vh1.com/2009-10-06/sex-rehab-with-dr-drew-peep-the-full-cast/

http://www.obscenitycrimes.org/Senate-Reisman-Layden-Etc.pdf

http://www.psycharts.com/pornography.htm

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/05/01/eveningnews/eyeontech/main2749789.shtml

http://www.oprah.com/oprahradio/Pornography-Addiction

http://www.unk.edu/offices/womenscenter.aspx?id=24364

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2010/feb/22/hagelin-fighting-porn-with-safety-net/

http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSN2835847820080829

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4302347/

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,364749,00.html

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6525520/

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/11/books/review/11sohn.html

http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/09/05/sex.addiction/index.html

http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/understanding_why_pornography_addiction_is_a_brain_disease

http://www.drjudithreisman.com/archives/2005/12/senate_subcommi.html

http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=2748044n

http://blogs.abcnews.com/campuschatter/2010/02/larry-flynt-to-students-we-have-to-tolerate-things-we-dont-necessarily-like.html

http://www.vancouversun.com/Porndemic+looks+pornography+addiction+with+wary+future/1448881/story.html

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/enlightened-living/200808/pornography-emotional-availability-and-female-objectification

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marnia-robinson/what-porn-users-taught-me_b_298699.html

http://www.csun.edu/~psy453/addict_y.htm

http://xxxchurch.com/x3pure/singleguys.html?kwmid=93&kmcid=%7Bcreative%7D&_kk=c0b56f35-23be-4fc4-98da-4f1d598301ce&_kt=4079255425&gclid=CLfzq_b_k6ACFRkhnAodVTH3ew

http://men.webmd.com/guide/is-pornography-addictive

http://www2.seattlepi.com/articles/415822.html

http://articles.sfgate.com/2010-02-22/entertainment/17950909_1_sexual-addiction-sexual-behavior-pornography

http://www.wired.com/science/discoveries/news/2004/11/65772

http://www.amazon.com/Treating-Pornography-Addiction-Essential-Recovery/dp/097722080X

http://wsr.byu.edu/content/information-pornography-addiction

http://www.hg.org/medical-experts/Medical-Experts-Pornography-Addiction.asp

http://www.houstonpress.com/2010-02-18/news/teen-porn-101/

http://www.amazon.com/Porn-Trap-Essential-Overcoming-Pornography/dp/006123186X

http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/features/defining-internet-addictions

http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/health/2009/01/16/2009-01-16_men_women_and_porn_addiction_whose_probl.html

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/mindful-sex/200808/internet-sex-addiction-case-studies-and-treatment

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2008/nov/23/health-wellbeing-therapy-society

http://www.usyd.edu.au/news/84.html?newsstoryid=4467

http://www.acar.net.au/

http://www.csw.ohio-state.edu/trainingforprofessionals/trainingcalendar/091208/

http://www.bbc.co.uk/relationships/sex_and_sexual_health/probs_sexaddiction.shtml

http://www.stateuniversity.com/blog/permalink/College-Students-and-Pornography.html

Desi's Desires Goes Live with Great Results

DesiFoxx@TheFoxxs.com (Diana) — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 17:04:00 GMT

I was going to write about my show yesterday but got caught up finally finishing my entry at Porn In The Valley about whether it's possible to have a socially conscience porn industry. It's been a busy few days for me and doesn't show signs of letting up anytime soon. YaY!!

I spent a couple of days working on my first show for Desi's Desires Live. At 10pm sharp, I started the show and it went very well. I'm pleased with the results. Between BlogTV and viewers on my live page at DesiDivine.com, I had approximately 70 viewers and got some great questions at the end when I opened the lines for discussion. I didn't know how to record the whole show at the time so last night, I went back on and recorded it for the archives. It was my first attempt at doing a live broadcast so it's not perfect but I know I'll get better with time I hope you'll stop by and check it out if you missed the live broadcast.

As I waited for 10pm to start broadcasting Wednesday night, I got a couple of haters from the industry who posted nasty comments and were trying to add their hate to my chat but couldn't. I notified the moderator at BlogTV that I might have trouble and they are being very supportive with my show and page there. BlogTV is a great website to do a cam show and is even going to help promote my show which is very cool of them to do. I'm really glad that I chose them for my shows. If you've got something good to present, check them out for your show!!

Tomorrow, I'll be broadcasting my first episode of "Women's Issues in America Today". I'll be talking about Scott Brown's senatorial victory in Massachusetts after posing nude in Cosmo when he was young. The discussion will be on the double standards in America because we all know a woman's past would never withstood that kind of scruitiny so she could go on to similar successes. I hope to have a good participation with this show. I plan for Women's Issues to be a more casual broadcast with alot of interaction and discussion from viewers. I'm working tonight to get the script ready for this show

Sunday, I get to relax just a little. I have to get ready for my Wednesday night show again. I'll be talking about the Supreme Court's decision against stopping exposure of hardcore porn to our children through the internet. Preparing for these shows will keep me very busy. I plan to address a different issue each week.

Monday, I have a small trip planned and will be going out of town. I'm going to do an interview about the porn industry with someone I'm excited to meet and talk to. That will take most of the day and I'll get home pretty late. Just another way to spread the truths about what working in the sex industries is really about. I don't have any details but couldn't share them for now even if I did. I will let you all know when and where it will air. This is an important project for me so pray that I will do well with getting my message across in the most meaningful way.

Next week, I start my new job. It's been a long time coming but everything worth having is worth the wait for it to come. I'm going to be working with a great group of people. I'll be helping other people and learning alot of great new things. This is a new career opportunity for me. It feels really good to be starting this new phase of my life. I've wanted a new direction for some time now. This is definitely a different direction from what I'm used to but it's something I've always wanted to do so I'm back to where I should've been for the first time in a long time.

I've got more good news and this one is really big news. Checks are in the mail to pay off my tickets so next week, I can get my drivers license back. I've been so blessed with good people in my life. After my license is reinstated, I've got help to get a little car to get around. This is huge for me in helping to get my life back. Without a drivers license, I can't apply for about 75% of the jobs out there. The job I start next week is part time to start so for now, I need to find another to supplement it. Having a car allows me to apply for different shifts and longer distances so it increases my choices. Not having a drivers license and a car has greatly inhibited my opportunities and I'm so glad that this problem is finally about over

As you can see, my life is changing everyday. I'm back on a path to success and I'm going after it now. I've gotten my strength back and feel like myself again. Diana is back and she's better than ever

Desi's Desires Goes Live on BlogTV.com

DesiFoxx@TheFoxxs.com (Diana) — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 18:18:00 GMT

Welcome to"Desi's Desires" Live Broadcasting System. I'll be broadcasting Live at BlogTV on a weekly basis to talk about the many issues Americans are dealing with these days. I hope you will stop by and join in the discussions. If you'd like to include a topic to discuss or have comments on shows I've presented, feel free to email me at Diana@DesisDesires.com. Be sure to include the show title/subject and let me know if you want to remain anonymous.

WEDNESDAYS at 10PM EST
"Pornography - Fantasy vs. Reality"
Let's talk about the facts and fictions of porn. Learn about all the dirty little secrets the porn industry doesn't want you to know. Get real information on how pornography is affecting people, relationships and our society as a whole. If you watch porn, you need to watch this show!!

SATURDAYS at 3PM EST
"Womens Issues in America"
A place to talk about the issues that are affecting women in America today. We'll cover topics such as porn, dating and relationships, politics, the workplace, discrimination and equality. Tell me what issues you are dealing with. Let's get together and build a better America for Women everywhere!!

I hope you will all join me in bringing awareness to the issues that porn has brought upon America. Please feel free to join in the discussions. If we all start speaking out against the injustices in our world, it can only help to improve that world. It sure can't make it any worse!!

A Fresh New Look for DesiDivine.com

DesiFoxx@TheFoxxs.com (Diana) — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 17:18:07 GMT

I've completed the re-design of DesiDivine.com and I'm very pleased with the fresh new look. It goes along nicely with where I'm going with my life. A fresh new website and a fresh new life. I got news this weekend that my new job is starting soon. As I transition into another phase of my life, I have reflected quite a bit on where I've been.

One of the biggest hurdles I've had to overcome since trying to get my life back on track is to find out who I really am now since I had lost myself along the way. Who I want to be and where I want to go with my life now that I am freed from my past. I was thinking about this last night and I realized that I'm coming up to a couple of important dates in March. First of all, I'll be turning 50 years old. That in itself is a milestone to be proud of. The other has to do with my blogging online. March 26th will be my 2 year anniversary of blogging about the porn industry. It was this special day that made me realize, many of you have followed a journey that has significantly changed my life.

I started blogging to defend the slander from a cyberstalker that has been following me since March 2008. I went from there to journaling our rise and fall in porn and documenting all the abuse that they had done to us. Along the way, I started speaking out about the inequality of how women were treated in porn. During all of this, I lost and found myself again and you were all there with me. Going forward, I want to make a difference in womens lives everywhere. I truly believe that in some strange way, all my life's experiences were some kind of training for the path I'm now on.

Over the past two years, you have followed it all. If you joined me in the middle, many of you have struggled to catch up. You have to read the whole story to understand where I've been. You can see where I'm going now yet you also realize there's been much pain in my life. You've watched as I left the sex industries and then worked so hard to gain my real life back. I don't want to be the woman with the tragic story to feel sorry for. I want to be the woman who overcame it all and moved on to a much better place that we can all benefit from. As I look to my future and see great success, I hope that you all will share in the glory of knowing that anything's possible when you put your mind to it.

I realize that I lost my identity when my 2nd husband took everything from me when we went through our divorce. Even though my career as a successful business woman in the financial industry had 5 years to grow before I got involved with him, I have figured out that the next 10 years of working with him were all tangled up with the pain he put me through. I then went into porn where I used my business skills to do what I was supposed to do which was to market and sell myself to men for a living. When the porn industry attacked me, it was like losing everything I'd worked for all over again. It's taken me some time to seperate the pain from my successes though it was the best thing that could have happened to me. I am a smart and talented woman who is worth so much more then being used by these men so now I can move forward demanding the respect that all women deserve and should get!!

I had walled off everything I'm good at because to think about using my skills meant thinking about where I had used them. One of the biggest accomplishments I have succeeded in doing with all my self work has been to realize how talented I am regardless of the men who tried to convince me that I couldn't do anything without them. I have overcome so much adversity in my life especially over the past few years. I've proven to myself that I can do anything I set my mind to and now I am ready to use that knowledge to make a difference in this world. I think you'll enjoy following me where I'm going now. Along with my fresh professional design for DesiDivine.com, you'll see a fresh new approach to the story I've been telling.

A special thanks to all of you who've come along for the ride

"It's in our hands. There's a world in our care."- David Pomeranz

DesiFoxx@TheFoxxs.com (Diana) — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 01:18:00 GMT

David Pomeranz is one of the most successful and prolific songwriters and recording artists on the scene today. His songs and recordings have sold over 35 million copies worldwide and his musical projects have earned him a total of 18 Gold and 22 Platinum records. David is performing to inspire us to learn and respect the rights we all have simply because we're human.

Come to the Human Rights Walkathon, Saturday March 6th in North Straub Park, St Petersburg, FL.
Registration starts at 9:00AM, we walk from 10:00 to 11:00AM and the speakers and entertainment start at 11:00AM.

Please go to www.humanrightswalkathon.org for more information and to pre-register.

This is a FREE event, don't miss it!

Donations for this event can also be sent to: Human Rights Walkathon, P.O. Box 413, Clearwater, FL. 33757
Please make checks payable to “Human Rights Walkathon.”

About the Human Rights Walkathon:
The Human Rights Walkathon is produced by the Human Rights Group, Inc., a private nonprofit corporation composed of volunteer staff. The purpose of the Human Rights Walkathon is to celebrate, promote and forward the rights that were set forth and proclaimed by the Universal Declaration of Human Rights by the General Assembly of the United Nations in 1948. Their goal is to help unite all people in agreeing to human rights and to make these rights a reality in the world today and believe that it is through education that war, discrimination and intolerance can be eliminated. More schools, human-rights groups and non-governmental organizations are represented at the Human Rights Walkathon every year. This event is co-sponsored by the City of St Petersburg. To find out how to participate or represent your organization, visit http://www.humanrightswalkathon.org/

With a Little Help from our Friends

DesiFoxx@TheFoxxs.com (Diana) — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 17:12:00 GMT

This week has been crazy busy as well as quite blessed. I want to start out by saying a huge "Thank YOU" to my friend who made me a new banner for DesiDivine.com. I had mentioned in a recent entry that I wanted one but couldn't seem to learn Photoshop to design it so he made one for me. I spent about 12 hours yesterday redesigning my whole site. Check it out. It looks great and I couldn't have done a better job if I could figure out Photoshop lol!!

I received another invitation to speak at a special event. This time I'll be talking to young people on the truths about porn. Our youth have no idea how fake porn really is. I've been researching and talking to those who work with young people in our country and I can guarantee you we've got a real youth crisis going on right here in America. I've been reaching out to groups to let them know about my work. I'm getting a good response which will help me spread the word. Porn addiction is becoming a real epidemic in our world. I spent Wednesday working on my speech for this new event. I've gotten the basics of what I want to say in a good form. Now I just have to work on finessing it and then memorizing it so it flows freely.

This morning I got up and watched the Tiger Woods conference. I want to say that I was impressed with his honesty. He accepted total blame for all the things he has done. It takes a real man to stand up and admit when he's hurt other people. I feel his apology was sincere and thorough so it's time to move on. I know the press would have loved to ask questions so they would have some meat to chew on and spit out in their media frenzies. I applaud Tiger for taking a stand against playing the games our media always wants to play so they can gossip about others misfortunes. You could tell they were chomping at the bit to get some dirt on his affairs so they could blast it all over our media sources.

Someone made the comment that it's not the mistakes we make but how we respond to them is what shows true integrity. I've said that myself because I truly know that's how we grow and mature into successful, productive adults. Without that knowledge, we will never correct bad behavior. I was also happy to hear he's continuing with his therapy and I wish him the best of luck. I will be praying for both him and Elin. If more people sought help for their problems instead of trying to hide them, we would have a much healthier society and wouldn't have so many victims out there. The work I've done in my own therapy has given me a whole new attitude toward my life.

I feel so much more aware of my actions now. I know I've written some tough words lately but it was necessary to do so for both you and I. As I work on my speech, I know in my heart that the truth sets us all free whether we like it or not. I feel that I must share my story with others so they can understand the damages done due to their actions. I had already suffered alot of pain in my life when I went into porn. Then porn took that pain and exploited it with no regards to the damages they put upon my mind and my body. This happens to young women in porn everyday. Women go in to porn for a multitude of different reasons but not a single one of those reasons has anything to do with sex or how much they love it.

What happened to Tiger was brought on by many difference events in his life. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what went wrong. This is a man who spent his entire life striving to be the best golfer. He really didn't have a normal childhood and his best friend was his father instead of neighborhood buddies. He lived in a very controlled environment, very structured and one dimensional. And then to top it all off, he lost his father who he had spent his whole life working so hard to please. This is a recipe for disaster if there ever was one. Throw in success, money and fame and you add some spicy flavor to the mix. As Tiger stated today in his speech, we must all wait and see just as Elin has to do to see if his words will be supported by matching actions. As they say, actions will always speak louder than words!!

May all those men out there, who wanted to ask Tiger those personal questions, take a hard look at their own lives and think about their own actions toward others and then do some self evaluation. We all are human beings and we all make mistakes. But it takes a real man to face the world, admit his mistakes and then do something about them in order to move on!!

What's Wrong with Porn?? - An Article To Read

DesiFoxx@TheFoxxs.com (Diana) — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 15:34:00 GMT

I received a request to post the original article from the BLOG link I posted yesterday so here it is. This is one of the best blogs I've found with educated answers about why porn is bad for our society. I like their slogan "Pro Sex, Anti Porn". Great words to live by

Pornography harms women.

Pornography is not fantasy. Pornography happens in the real world, to real women; everything you see in pornography happened somewhere to a real woman.

The pornography industry is a multi-billion dollar global industry.

Pornography exists to make money. It is an industry that chews women up and spits them out; it is an industry where exposure to violence, harassment, injury and infection are seen as normal and acceptable.

Pornography doesn’t expand our sexuality – it stunts it.

Mainstream heterosexual pornography dictates a narrow and limited idea of human sexuality. In pornography, male sexuality is predicated on cruelty, coercion and degradation; female sexuality is predicated on submitting to or appearing to enjoy being subjected to cruel, coercive and degrading treatment. Pornography eradicates women’s sexual agency, and makes it harder for women to find out about their own bodies and their own sexuality.

Pornography portrays sexual violence against women as normal, natural and an inevitable part of male sexuality.

Sexual desire does not develop in a vacuum. The prurient attitude we have to sex in this country, combined with a lack of decent sex education, means that many people use pornography as their primary source of information on what sex is supposed to be like. Mainstream heterosexual pornography tells men that the sexual abuse of women is exciting, and that women enjoy being abused. It tells women that in order to do sex properly, they have to put up with and enjoy such abuse.

Pornography reinforces male supremacy, and the idea that men are entitled to sexual access to women’s bodies.

Men define themselves as being whatever is not a woman, in order to be a man it is necessary for there to be a subordinate group of women for men to compare themselves to and feel superior to. In mainstream heterosexual pornography men are always the active agents and women are always the passive objects. No man in pornography ever fails to get what he wants; the women in pornography exist solely to satisfy men’s desires, they have no will or desire of their own except to service men’s needs.

Pornography portrays sex and women as disgusting.

The words used to describe women and women’s bodies in pornography betray the fact that women and sex are seen as dirty and disgusting by the men who use it: ‘bitch’ ‘cunt’ ‘slut’ ‘fuck toy’ ‘fuck hole’ ‘dirty’ ‘filthy’ etc etc.

Pornography promotes misogynistic beauty standards.

In mainstream heterosexual pornography women are interchangeable, it trains women and men to see a natural female body – one with pubic hair, or small breasts, or any fat – as unnatural and disgusting.

Pornography affects you.

Even if you are not a pornography consumer, a significant number of the men you interact with every day will be. It’s difficult to imagine that a man can spend a lot of time viewing and masturbating to degrading images of women without that pornographic ideology having a negative effect on his view of women.

Pornography and sex are not the same thing!
Pro-sex, Anti-porn: Free your sexuality from pornography

Making Progress in the Battle Against Porn

DesiFoxx@TheFoxxs.com (Diana) — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 19:09:00 GMT

Yesterday, when I was adding to my "Wall of Shame", I counted the party lines and came up with 16 republicans vs. 19 democrats. I've found 37 politicians so far that have been caught in a web of deception and lies. These men were caught in sex scandals. One day, I will build a page called "Where's the Beef" for those who have taken the money of Americans. It's a daunting task to take on to research these issues. I really can't believe the true history of our leaders!!

While researching, I found an article about a recent bust in the porn industry. It's nice to see things are moving right along. As I do my work, I find more and more proof of the crumbling of the porn industry. You can read the latest efforts of the government actions to take them down right HERE. If you want to do your part and report obscenity violations against porn on the internet and in your homes, go to ObscenityCrimes.org where they will show you how to do so.

I spend alot of time bringing attention to those who choose to exploit women and children and destroy our family values. I thought it was time I spent some time showing the world we have many people who are fighting to save them. There are many people who I've met in the past 6 months who give real support and compassion to those who have fallen victim to these crimes against humanity. I know I wouldn't be as far as I am in my recovery if not for these people who have shown me their love. Take the time to send those you know are fighting porn your encouragement and praise for helping our world to be a better place to live and raise our country's youth.

While I spend alot of time talking about the bad, I want to recognize those who have made my world better In trying to accomplish making a page of those politicians who are helping fight the battle again porn in our country and are truly trying to uphold our family values, I found that I haven't been able to identify such a list. It will obviously take me some time since I'll now have to research each individual politician's voting record and personal history to see who is who in our country. If you know of politicians who have done work or spoken out against the porn industry, other sex industries and the downfall of our humanity, please forward me their info along with links if you have them. I'll include them for recognition for the powerful work they are doing.

I am also adding links to organizations on The Advocate page of DesiDivine.com when I find those who are doing their best to spread the word about what is happening in America. Anti-porn, human trafficking, morality in our media are all subjects that need more attention so you'll find resources there. Feel free to send me any sites you know of. It's important that we all band together to show our government that we mean business out there. There's a whole lot more Americans that want a socially conscience country so we can make this happen if we all contact the politicians. Let them know if they don't start taking a stand against pornography exposure, we will vote them out and vote in someone who will

I found this BLOG as I was doing this research. I found it very thought provoking and some dead on opinions about how porn affects our women, our men, our culture and our world. Check it out when you get some time. It's a lengthy rendition but worth the time to read it and learn more about this issue.

Here's a brochure "Bought and Sold" that the government has recently published. They are coming around slowly so keep telling them how you feel. There's resources for young people who are in crisis and need help. Just one more example that there is help if you need it.

A huge THANK YOU to EVERYONE out there who has been fighting the fight against porn, the sales of women and children and the filth that's destroying our country. Thank you all for continuing your work. We can all make a difference so continue fighting your battle. Send me your info and link and I'll add you to my site. I'm right here beside you and I won't give up until we all win!!!

It May Be a Monday but It's Been a Good Day

DesiFoxx@TheFoxxs.com (Diana) — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 01:58:00 GMT

It's actually been a great weekend as well. Yesterday, we spent the day relaxing. A little after lunch, we got a message that took us all by surprise. My son asked his girlfriend to marry him. That was the best Valentines Day gift we all could've gotten. They've been together for a few years now and we tease them all the time about making it official. He kept this a secret from us all. They make the perfect couple so we are all excited for them. I may not have romance in my life for now but I still do believe in it and marriage can be great. I'm so proud of him for taking this big step. May they have many years together and many happy times!!

Yesterday, I spent updating DesiDivine.com. I've decided to post weekly updates on FoXX Media Group's FoXX Cast System. I also added an archive system for movies and videos I take down. That way if you miss a week or want to refer someone else to something you watched there, it will be easy to retrieve. As I said not too long ago, one of my goals is to provide a resource center for information on pornography, sex and porn addiction, human sex trafficking and other related subjects so you can find it all in one spot. Articles will be archived on Porn In The Valley where I posted a nice brochure today to use as a resource piece. Videos will be kept in the FMG section. Here is where I'll keep you updated on what's going on in my life

I also spent some time working on the overall design. I still want to do something more with the banner heading but haven't found the right graphics. I'm not any good at Photoshop so I can't make my own. I've had 3 people show me how to use that program but I just can't seem to get it to work for me. Part of it is it's so time consuming for me. Because I haven't had hands on training, I haven't picked it up quick enough. I changed the button style which I was very pleased with. I found the perfect file folder graphic to use and think they worked out great.

Today, I got up early in case I got the call for an interview. I did get a call but they had chosen someone else. The agency I'm working with had another assignment but it's too far when using public transportation so I had to turn it down. The good news is I know they are working hard for me. The rep I spoke to even remembered my new job coming up. She understands how I want to work with them to supplement my other job when it starts. Definitely a great agency to work with so I know I'm in good hands

I was speaking to a friend of mine when I got another call. It was from a guy I worked with back in the fall and we keep in touch. He's a real nice guy and is straight up with me. He said the management has changed so I told him to let them know I'd come back if they wanted me. I liked the job but the management was crazy. That's all changed now so there may be a chance that I get to go back there. We'll have to wait and see what they say.

While we were talking, I told him what I've been up to and about the new job that I'll be doing. I also told him about the volunteer opportunities I've been looking into and he wants to get involved so I've recruited a volunteer This makes my second one so as soon as my new job is ready, I've got some people to come along to help us out. I'm so excited to be having such good luck with reaching out to others to get involved. He's done volunteer work before so he can jump right in to help.

The rest of the day, I worked some more on DesiDivine.com. I had someone ask if I would add names to my Wall of Shame where I listed photos of our country's cheaters. I spent the day updating that page with names, political parties and more cheaters I found while researching. It is becoming very obvious that our leaders aren't doing a very good job leading!!

This evening my soon to be daughter-in-law came over to drop off some things for Elli and told me she got a new job. It's a more formal job and she was worried about what she'd wear. I had some dresses that fit her perfect and I haven't worn them in some time so I told her to take them. She's already looking at wedding dresses lol. We talked about their plans so I know what to expect. The main dilemma we'll have is half of the family and friends are in Michigan and the other half are not. Since none of us has alot of money, it's going to be a challenge to get us all together. We have some time so who knows what will happen. I told her not to worry, we'll figure it out when the time comes. The point is have a great wedding so we'll work it out somehow!!

Now I'm just relaxing after eating dinner. The universe heard my wishes for good weather so the last couple days have been beautiful. It may be a Monday but it's been a perfect day. I'm heading to bed early again in case I get a call for work tomorrow I'm even thinking about possible home based businesses I can run. My mind is working great again since I've uncluttered all that pain!!

Happy Valentines Day!!

DesiFoxx@TheFoxxs.com (Diana) — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 04:57:00 GMT

I wish for everyone to have love in their lives and peace in their hearts

I've had some interesting responses to my last couple of entries. Some people find them upsetting while others find them inspiring. I want to assure everyone that I'm feeling very good regardless of how my writing is interpreted. I feel very positive right now and I have a peace about myself that I haven't felt in years.

I decided to share my grief assignment with my readers because I thought it was important for my readers to understand the process I'm going through. I hope by sharing my story here, I can show others that while there may be pain in your life, there are positive ways to deal with it. Bringing all of these feeling to the forefront has lifted them off of my heart. I wake up feeling alive and energetic again. I'm feeling very strong and happy about my future. And if I can survive all of this, so can anyone else who has been through bad times!!

While I may not have a man to share this Valentines Day with, I have alot of love in my life to celebrate. I have a great family and many good friends who love me. We all need a solid support system to help us through hard times and I am thankful for those who stand by me. I work hard to find good people to have in my life now. I am a very passionate person who is enjoying the good things in my life to the fullest. Because of the work that I've been doing with myself, I have a much deeper appreciation for all those around me.

Thursday evening, my daughter and son in law came over and took me to my son's new place. We all got together over there for dinner. His girlfriend makes the best baked ziti I've ever had so she made a huge pan that we stuffed ourselves on. We've all been getting together every couple of weeks now and I absolutely love that. It's just like old times hanging out with my kids. They are one of the best things I've ever done in my life I went grocery shopping today with my son's girlfriend and it was nice to get out even though it was cold. I made a big pot of chili when I got home. It's the perfect thing to eat when it's so cold. I so can't wait for spring to get here. I sure miss the warm days and sunshine.

My job is still delayed for a couple more weeks so I've been looking for something temporary or part time to pass the time and bring in some money. I got a call about a possible office assignment. I'll find out Monday morning if I'm being considered for the job. One of the best things that has happened to me due to my work is I'm now applying for much better positions. I have my confidence back that I can handle anything so I'm going after exactly what I want instead of just getting by. Believe me when I say, now that I've worked through all these issues that were hurting me, I feel ready to take on the world again.

I share my story with you all to help you understand how wonderful it can actually be to work through your pain. At the end of it all, you will realize just how strong you really are and have always been. Burying pain only works on a temporary basis. It will destroy you in the end no matter how hard you try to hide it. Dealing with it makes you realize what you've been through and guess what, you survived it all. It's an incredible feeling. I am happy and strong and I wake up everyday with purpose in my life again. There is nothing I can't do when I put my mind to it and I'm back on a path to success in my life.

I hope that my writing shows others, no matter how bad it may seem at the time, it can get better. There is real help out there for those who want it. I open my life in my writing so that if others are feeling like their life is hopeless, they can see where I've been and now where I'm going. I've been in some bad situations, as you can see, but that doesn't mean I can't have the world if I really want it.

So can you if you're willing to go after it!!!

As You Can See, I'm in the Anger Phase of My Man Grief

DesiFoxx@TheFoxxs.com (Diana) — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 15:56:00 GMT

There are five stages of grief we go through. No matter who you are, at some point in your life, you will experience these stages of grieving or destroy yourself trying to avoid them. As I work through my grief for all the things I've lost in my life, I go from one of these stages to another. It's what is finally bringing peace to my life. Are you grieving for something and stuck in one of these stages? Here are the 5 stages of grief. Realize it's normal to feel the ways that you do and get help so you too can move to a better place in your life.

Denial (this isn't happening to me!)
Anger (why is this happening to me?)
Bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if...)
Depression (I don't care anymore)
Acceptance (I'm ready for whatever comes)

It may have seemed like I enjoyed writing that entry. It may seem I like bashing men. The truth of the matter is it was very hard for me to even admit that I am so angry at men. I don't really hate men. Let's face it, I don't even know most of you out there personally. What I feel is actually hatred for the actions of men. I have a hard time expressing that hatred because at the same time, I understand many men who are practicing sex addicts are suffering from their own grief and pain.

While I spend most of my time fighting for the women who've been abused, I do recognize that many men out there are suffering from the actions that are driving their addictions. It would be so much easier if I could just look at all men as monsters. The truth of this whole battle that I find myself fighting is that there are soooo many victims out there. Porn is hurting women, men, children, families, our country and our world. As my main focus is on helping those young women I know are being abused, it's because I understand that they will be dealing with the consequences like me one day if their abuse doesn't stop and they get the help they need.

The problem with that is they are the end product of a much bigger problem which is the men in our country. I wrote what I did because men have to come to terms with the damage they are causing due to their own problems. Let's face it, everything in our world is controlled by men. Our government, our financial systems, our healthcare systerms, our retailers, every part of our country with power and influence are controlled by the men of America. Hollywood and the porn industry are also controlled by men. Producers and production companies make eductated decisions about what they are doing when they are making their product. The viewers and consumers of these products are uneducated about what they are doing to our world when they choose to consume them. Men can say what they want about women being the driving force of their sexual desires through porn. The truth of the matter is men control all the processes and it's men who want control over others who are driving every phase of our country's downfall.

Women who use sex to try to gain some control in their lives around men not only harm themselves but they harm every other woman out there. Women may think they've gained some power when they have sexual control over men but the truth is they are simply playing right into the hands of these same men. Men in porn will build a woman up so that these girls think they are what every man wants and desires. Everytime a woman walks onto a porn set, she is told how beautiful and sexy she is so she feels like she's in control. The better the scene she does, the more praise she will get from these men. You begin to believe that you're every man's dream when in reality, you are just a piece of meat to them all.

You can go onto any of the porn forums and read for yourself what these men really think about women. They call ALL women porn whores and whores. They say we are crazy and drug addicts. They say we are only good for having sex with. They show their true hatred for women everyday in these forums. They make fun of everything you do in your scenes. While on set, you're told how great you look and act and how the sex you just did was totally awesome. Then you go onto these forums where these same men hide behind aliases. You will find them describing you in the most degrading terms that they can use to belittle you. These men know exactly what a girl wants to hear so they can get her to do what they want her to. It's all part of the process to get what they want so they can make all the money while you go broke. You begin to feel like all these men really love you when in reality they feel a deep hatred for you. They don't respect you. They are laughing all the way to the bank long after you're gone and your life is in shambles. Once they have that content, they could care less about what happens to you. After all, you're just fresh meat to peddle to consumers.

I wrote what I did because there are alot of men out there that thinks all porn girls want their attention and lust. There is a huge belief out there that these women live to please men and the truth couldn't be any further from that. I have an inherent belief that most men would be horrified if they knew the truth so I'm trying to tell them. You aren't creating any type of relationship with these women. What you're creating is a long and deep hatred instead.

I'm here to help the girls but I'm also here to help our country come to terms with the truth about what is happening to all of our lives. Men control our lives whether we like that fact or not. As I grieve for the loss of all the strong men that we used to have, I feel the need to reach out to those who are teetering on the fence. I want to ask that they make the right decisions in their lives to save us all from total destruction. If it takes me telling you the truth about how, as porn addicts, you totally repulse the very women you desire, I will tell you the truth about everything in the porn industry that is set up to take you down that self destructive path. I do this because in my heart, I believe that many of the men who are addicted to porn are really good men who have gotten in over their heads.

I can explain the difference of what happens to men with my own marriages. My first husband abused me verbally, emotionally and physically for a good portion of our relationship. He had issues from his childhood that he refused to face and to deal with. He wasn't a malicious and evil man though for 5 years he beat me regularly. He tried to be a good husband and father but he simply didn't have the tools to do so and wasn't willing to get help to get them.

My second marriage was totally different and it took understanding the abuse in the porn industry for me to understand what he did to me. He had a masters in pyshcology so he knew exactly what he was doing. He too had issues from his childhood that he refused to deal with and get help for. He had an alcoholic and abusive mother who he hated and depised from early in his childhood. When he grew up he used that hatred to actively seek out and hurt vulnerable women. He preyed on women and used his education to know exactly how to draw them in and control them. Once I saw the mind control process in porn, I began to understand what he had done to me as well.

The difference between these two men is my first husband was a victim of abuse and through his pain, he in turn abused me to deal with his pain. He really did love me though he never learned a healthy way to show it. After years where he had worked hard to change, he again dealt with stress by abusing me and I had to leave. By that point in my life, I wasn't going back to that cycle again.

My second husband turned from a victim into a predatory victimizer to hurt others. He knew full well how to dish out the most harm to control and then destroy his victims. This is what men in our country have to deal with and to make some important decisions about. You may have hurt or are hurting people due to the pain that you felt and how you dealt with it. Now you can make a decision to change what you're doing and seek redemption from those who you hurt along the way. If you don't, at some point you will become the evil that drives these predatory men to hurt women and children. At some point, you will make a choice to actively seek out to bring pain to others. What type of man are you?? What type of man do you really want to be??

We all have the capacity to make bad decisions as well as good ones. What makes the difference between good and bad is when you know you're doing something to hurt others and you make a choice to stop the pain. I have been hurt by many men during my life time. While I may have anger about what all of them put me through, I can forgive those who didn't understand what they were doing to cause my pain due to their own problems. For the others, I have to accept the fact that they are evil and will answer to God in the end. I will never forgive them for the evil they did to me but I feel peace now knowing that I understand the difference between the two.

I now understand that my abuse had nothing to do with me other than keeping quiet and letting my abusers get away with it. I have enough respect and love for myself now that I will never again be a willing victim to my own abuse regardless of the abuser's intentions or issues. I deserve sooooo much better than that and so do you. Only you can make the decision what kind of person you want to be. Make a choice and get help before it's too late to turn back. You can be a man who made bad choices in your life or you can be a man who turns evil and actively seeks to destroys others!!!

Losing Love and Dealing with the Pain

DesiFoxx@TheFoxxs.com (Diana) — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 18:34:00 GMT

Continuing along with my grief assignment, I had to come to terms with the love that I've lost. It brought me to the realization that I'm grieving about alot more than the end of my marriage. I grieve for the loss I feel about losing the love in my life. That happily ever after that we all believed in when we were young. For the first time in my life, I found I lost the belief that there was ever such a thing.

It gets even bigger than that. As I've always said I love men, I realize that porn made me lose that too. While I can intellectually understand there are good men out there, I realize that the thousands of men who sent me emails about the sexual acts they wanted to do to me, the photos of their penises and the over all treatment that I was just a sexual object made me feel like all men are only interested in sex. They sure weren't interested in the real person that I am. I decided to write about this because I think men need to understand how they make women feel when they treat them like that. I also want to thank the men who send me emails talking about real issues in their lives and mine. For those of you who treat me like a real person to know, I thank you for keeping that small hope alive that there really are good men out there!!

Thinking about the things that I've lost in my life and the things I never had because of my abuse, sends me back to my childhood where I look at the important people in my life. I've said before that I had a somewhat fantasy childhood where I was protected and loved until I turned 12. I think about the men in my life and realize how lucky I was to have such strong men in my family. I come from a family where the men were really men. They loved and devoted their lives to their wives and their children and they were always top priority. I actually now realize that I've been searching for that type of man ever since I was old enough to start dating.

The truly unfortunate part of this all is the fact that because the men in my life were such great role models, it set me up with high expectations for the men that I loved. As I look around our world these days, I see that our men are greatly lacking in these qualities. Doing porn exaggerates this fact because our world has become unindated with porn and sex addicts. I find that I'm very angry with the men in our world because they have let themselves become consumed with such meaningless relationships with a computer instead of real women out there.

I am a woman who was brought up with respect and honor for the men that I knew. The only real thing I ever wanted in life was to get married, have children and spend my life with my family. Because the men I chose didn't deal with past issues in their lives, they stole that from me which only made me angry at them. No matter how hard I worked to make our marriages work, I couldn't get through to them about the damages they were causing. I look around me now at the men in our world and I get angry at them because they are doing the same thing. Instead of dealing with pain in their lives, they objectify women and turn to the computer as their companions.

As a man, I think it's important for you to understand that women don't like only being a sex object to you. It's the biggest fantasy that the porn industry is selling that women out there are only concerned about your desires. Women are naturally giving and love to satisfy but that doesn't mean we don't want something back in return. Things like love, respect and honesty are all things we want from our men. For men to think that it's any other way is a huge denial of humanity and what is expected of them.

I don't answer these emails anymore. I only talk to men who want to see me as a real person. I'd love nothing better than to see another campaign for men to be real men in our country. I'd love nothing more than to have men be the strong human species that I can count on instead of acting like dogs who hump everything. I grieve for the loss of the ability to find men who are real men who care about something other than sex. Men who don't have secret sexual relationships with themselves and their computers. Men who want to be respected and who are willing to work to earn that respect. Men I can look up to and feel protected when I am with them. Women in porn really do grow to hate men, this is a reality we all have to face. We do so because no man who uses porn regularly wants us to be a real person. They don't give a shit about us and guess what, we do understand that. To these men, we are just body parts and holes to penetrate. We are just a body to use to satisfy their desires. They will replace us with another body at the click of their mouse. How can a man really think this is what a woman wants from a man?? Boy, how these men have really bought into the fantasy of porn. If you believe that, let me tell ya, I've got a bridge I'd be willing to sell ya lol!!

I saw my counselor today and we talked about this stuff. I told her all I ever wanted was a man to hold and love me. I grieve because I'm not sure if that's even possible these days. My parents were married 65 years when my dad died last year. Is that even possible to have in the day and age that we now find ourselves in?? I know most women want the sames things that I do. But where do you find a good man in our world??

This is what men who promote porn are taking from us. This is what men who use porn regularly take from us. This is what men who cheat on their wives take from us. Right now I'm asking men "what the hell are you thinking?". I want a real relationship at some point in my life. I want men to turn away from this sickness and get real help. I want the men in our country to stand up and be real leaders. We need men who are truly role models to teach our youth how to be real men. I want men to want to give as well as receive. I want the strong arms of a real man to wrap around and protect me. I want men who I can respect and honor again. I want men to stand up and tell other men it's a good thing to love and respect women!!

I grieve for our country where men have fallen to such low levels that they don't even want to have relationships because it means giving. Everyone loses in this game of sex and porn addiction, the real men, women and families. Can't you see what you're doing to us all?? Isn't there anything that men miss from having a real connection?? Don't men want to have that true intimacy anymore?? These men have sent women into hiding to protect themselves from millions of predators. These days, we can't tell a good one from a bad one who will lure us in so they can use and abuse us. Women can't take a chance going on a date anymore because the odds are against us that we'll end up getting abused. Women in our country now have to live in fear if we go out because we could end up dating a practicing sex addict. There's sexual predators everywhere now and no ones doing anything to stop this!!

This is what porn has done to our country. This is what porn has done to our relationships. The only people who can change this are the men in our world who have taken us to such low levels. We need our men to grow up and start acting like real men again. Men who are real men should be as angry as us women that love has been stolen from them by these men too.You can't find love yourselves because all the women don't know who to trust anymore. We do want love but how do we tell if you're real or one of the millions of predators?? It's time to face the responsbility for what these men have done to us all. It's time they be held accountable for their actions.

If men don't start being real men again, guaranteed, it will be the end of us all!!

Finding Peace in My Life and a New Career to Go With It

DesiFoxx@TheFoxxs.com (Diana) — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 20:21:00 GMT

As you can imagine, last week was a soul searching yet enlightening time in my life. By the end of the week, I finally began to relax and feel peace taking over. I know this isn't the end of hard times in my life but I can honestly say it's the end of handling stressful times in the manner that I always have in the past.

Last weekend, I spent some time with my family. It was almost like a family reunion, there were so many of us. It was so nice to see family members I haven't seen much of in years though it was sad that my father couldn't be there to be a part of it all. We had a dozen of us there talking and catching up on each others news. I'm just so happy to be back on this side of the country so I can be closer to my family.

The rest of the week was spent working on my grief assignment and getting things done around the house. My house is about as good as it gets. I definitely have too much time on my hands lol. We also were having company. An old friend from the biz was in town and wanted to come by. It was the first time we've had company here so it was nice to finally have someone over to show off where I live now. This was someone I trust who's not in the porn industry anymore either. We caught up on the past year or so since we had last talked with each other. It's been so nice to get back in contact with several of my old friends from the days we worked in porn. Some are still there but many have left which always makes me feel better. I don't hold anything against those still working there but they know I feel strongly that they'd do much better if they left.

I've decided after talking to so many of them lately that I'm going to write a new entry for Porn In The Valley called "A Socially Conscience Porn Industry - Is It Possible to Have". While I now believe that our world would be much better off without porn, I understand that porn is a part of our society and isn't going anywhere anytime soon. There are several things that the porn industry should be doing to make their product without the abuse and degradation that is currently so prevalent there. Keep an eye out for this entry if you still want to work in porn but want to make it a better place for the women who continue working there!!

Sunday, I got an email from the people I'm going to work with and it was bad news. Things are moving along more slowly so it will be a few more weeks before I can start my new job. At first, I thought maybe they had decided they no longer wanted to work with me. Of course, that's the old doubts creeping back in that I still deal with from time to time. It's something all former sex workers have to deal with in their lives. The porn industry programs into our minds that no one will want us once we've done porn. It's very hard to get past this feeling because there is such a stigma attached to working inside one of the sex industries and especially doing porn since what you've done is shown to the world. The delay really didn't have anything to do with me but instead was simply details in moving to a new office. I got more information yesterday and then more today so I feel much better. Just goes to show I still have work to do within myself even though I've come so far

Now, I've got a few more weeks stuck at home, arrrrgh lol. I've been looking for temporary or part time work to do in the interim but even those type of jobs are much harder to come by these days. I've started a home study course which is helping keep my mind busy. I'm also reading a novel about every 4 days lol. I did an interview with a youth pastor last week which gave me alot more work to do. While he may have learned some things from me, I took quite a bit away from him at the same time.

Some of the stories he told me that are going on with our youth confirmed we have a huge youth crisis going on in our country. It's exactly as I've feared but now I've heard the hard facts and it pains me down to my core. Kids in junior high and high school think porn sex is real sex and they are trying to emulate it. It's causing some real emotional issues for these kids who are getting involved in sex and porn at such an early age. This made me realize I need to work on a presentation for young people so that's been added to my list. It also made me realize how little parents understand about what's happening to their kids so I need a presentation for parents to explain what they should be doing to protect their children from the porn industry.

I thank God there are people out there trying to spread the truth about the porn industry and how it is hurting our society and especially our children. We need a whole lot more people to be working to spread the truth so I will keep calling out for our government to step up to the plate and get involved. We need a national campaign to address what our children are being exposed to and doing with all that hardcore knowledge. In the meantime, I will keep spreading the truth so that those I tell can tell others. I feel so blessed to be given this opportunity to make a difference in our world. I know I'm changing and saving lifes even if it's happening one person at a time!!

RESOURCE - GEMS (Girls Educational & Mentoring Services) - There is HELP if YOU want to LEAVE the Porn Industry

DesiFoxx@TheFoxxs.com (Diana) — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 22:31:00 GMT

Girls Educational & Mentoring Services (GEMS) is the nation’s largest organization empowering girls and young women, ages 12-21, who have experienced sexual exploitation and domestic trafficking to exit the commercial sex industry and develop to their full potential. GEMS is committed to ending commercial sexual exploitation and domestic trafficking of children by changing individual lives, transforming public perception, and revolutionizing the systems and policies that impact sexually exploited youth. GEMS’ vision is to end the commercial exploitation and trafficking of children. We believe that all young women have great beauty and worth, and the potential for future success. The voices and experiences of youth survivors are integral to the development and implementation of all GEMS’ programming.

History

GEMS, was founded in 1999 by Rachel Lloyd, a young woman who had been sexually exploited as a teenager. Ms. Lloyd came to the U.S in 1997 as a missionary to work with adult women exiting prostitution. While working with adult women in correctional facilities and on the streets, Ms. Lloyd observed the overwhelming need for services for young women at risk for sexual exploitation who were being ignored by traditional social service agencies. It became clear that specialized services were essential for this disenfranchised population.

From a one-woman kitchen table project, GEMS has grown to a nationally recognized and acclaimed organization and now is one of the largest providers of services to commercially sexually exploited and domestically trafficked youth in the US. GEMS advocates at the local, state and national level to promote policies that support young women who have been commercially sexually exploited and domestically trafficked.

Call them now at (212) 926-8089 or visit their website at http://www.gems-girls.org/about to get more information. You can get help here. You deserve a better life and there's people here who can help you succeed. Take that first step and call them!!!!

And Away We Go

DesiFoxx@TheFoxxs.com (Diana) — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 16:29:00 GMT

You have to know how excited I was to hear that Demi Moore had joined the fight against human sex trafficking. I have to admit I did the touchdown dance in my living room lol. It was my son who told me to check out the Pepsi Refresh Project. He saw Demi's involvement on E! TV. He called me twice last night. Once to tell me about this and another to tell me he saw Presidents Clinton and Bush in a commercial about human trafficking. My kids know how important this issue is to me so they help keep me informed. I'm so excited that this issue has finally hit mainstream media sources and we all know Demi's pressence will bring more attention than any other sources have done thus far

You see, I know what these girls are going through. I understand how they compartmentalize their feelings in order to survive while they work in the sex industries. It's something that has become very clear to me while I work on my grieving homework assignment. I'll be 50 years old next month and I'm just starting to deal with it all. I don't want for these girls what I have gone through. The sooner they can work through the traumatic experiences in their lives, the sooner they can move forward and succeed in their lives. I have many things I grieve for and the story is not much different for the others.

I grieve most of all for the loss of my innocence. Because I was molested from the age of 12-15, I didn't get to experience exploring my sexuality in a normal manner. At 12, I had just started my period when this all started happening to me. I had just found my vagina because my sister taught me how to use tampons a few months before I started my period. I remember having issues inserting a tampon and she told me a man's penis could fit so a little tampon sure could. Just the thought of a man's penis was frightening to me at that time so the statement didn't make me feel any better lol. I didn't even understand what sex was and couldn't imagine having a man down there at the time.

I grieve for the loss of finding a relationship with a man the normal way. Once introduced to sex by molestation, it changed the way I looked at all boys and men. I know it changed the type of men I went out with. I became sexually permiscuous because I thought that's what relationships and dating was all about. I wonder what life would've been like had I been able to keep my virginity until I was ready. I wonder what it would've been like to date a boy for awhile and then chose the right time to have that special moment when I knew it was right to go all the way.

I grieve for the loss of education because I couldn't deal with going to school once the molestation started. The boy who molested me went to my school and my church. Wherever I went, he was there reminding me what he had done and gotten away with. I lost out on the joy I used to have both in learning in school and expanding my relationship with God because both places were too traumatic to deal with. I would've loved to go to college and I had big plans to be successful. I wanted to be a photo journalist or a social worker. Both of those dreams went down the tube with the abuses I suffered through.

The abuse affected my relationship with my family. I drew away from them because I was so ashamed about what was happening to me. I grew up in a religious family and virtue was something that was a given in my family. You stayed a virgin until the day you got married. You graduated high school, got married, had children and lived happily ever after. Well, my happily ever after had been taken by the careless and abusive behavior of some boy who I had grown up with. I just couldn't imagine telling my family what had happened to me though now I realize they wouldn't have judged me for what that boy did to me. I couldn't stand thinking about the pain it would bring them so I kept my mouth shut and pulled away from them instead which actually caused a whole different kind of pain for us all.

As I sat last week in the lobby waiting for my appointment with my counselor, I watched a young mother with her toddler and wished I could go back to that time. Life was so much easier when my children were little. I loved being a mother and gave my life to raising my kids. I know had I not been molested as a child, their lives would've been quite different as well. It affected who I chose to be the father of my children. I chose men who used me for sex and abused me instead of providing a loving and nurturing bond. My kids could've had a much more stable life had I had the opportunity to go to college and chose the proper man be their father. I was over protective with my children because I feared what had happened to me would happen to them. I didn't have the college background to show them how important their education would be in their lives. This is something I have had to live with. It changed my childrens future because of what happened to me as a child.

I've carried this shame with me for my entire life. I was a victim yet I blamed myself and then didn't think I deserved anything better. These are the things that I have grieved for almost 40 years now. These are the feelings that many young victims of sexual abuse have to deal with growing up. When a child pulls away from their family, it's a sure sign that something has gone terribly wrong in their lives. It's so overwhelming to think about telling your parents what happened. The last thing a child wants to do is to disappoint and bring pain to their family. This is what sexual predators count on. It's what they work to achieve so they can abuse their victims. Sex is one of the most intimate experiences we have in our lives and when it's taken from you, it turns your entire life into a nightmare instead.

Over the past week, I've worked hard on this assignment. I want to get past the pain I've experienced so I can be whole once again. I believe that the abuses I suffered from my second husband and while working in porn made it impossible for me to keep my feelings compartmentalized anymore. I really did suffer a break from it all. The walls came tumbling down and the feelings were overwhelming. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't build those walls back up again so I could numb the pain. I imagine it's somewhat how a person feels when they are buried in rubble. I had to struggle to survive while I worked to dig myself out. I spent years waiting for someone to come help get me out. For the first time in my life, I have people who understand and are helping me to rebuild my life to what I should have been all along.

No matter what has happened to these girls, with help and support, I am here as a testament that there is hope to recover. Every human being is worth saving and rehabilitating. We need these young women to be productive human beings again. These girls were children who were taken advantage of and they deserve our compassion. I know there's people out there that think I'm a screw up but we all know that the only reason people get into trouble during their youth is because they've suffered some traumatic event in their lives. As kids, they don't have the tools available to put their lives back together. They cannot become productive and successful human beings again without help!!

That's why they need US to provide them. I'm so excited about the GEM organization. There is help out there for them now and more people are coming forward to provide it. This program helps girls from ages 12-21. Just because you turn 18 doesn't mean you know how to be an adult. I'm so happy to see that others understand as I do that these young women are still innocent and also need help to recover. I'm so happy to see that others are starting to come forward and help fight the battle against human sex trafficking in America. From the bottom of one victim's heart, I say THANK YOU!!!

Pepsi Refresh Project and Demi Moore for GEMS (Girls Educational & Mentoring Services)

DesiFoxx@TheFoxxs.com (Diana) — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 01:19:00 GMT

Demi Moore is joining the Pepsi Refresh Project with a grant idea to support GEMS (Girls Educational & Mentoring Services), an organization that empowers young women, ages 12-21, who have experienced commercial sexual exploitation and domestic trafficking to exit the commercial sex industry and develop to their full potential. With $250,000, GEMS can train 10 former victims as outreach workers and employ them to go back in their community and help refresh the lives of thousands of victimized girls.

Pepsi is giving away millions each month to fund refreshing ideas that change the world. The ideas with the most votes will receive grants. Support Demis idea for GEMS by voting for her at www.facebook.com/refresheverything.

Join the Pepsi Refresh project today; your vote will help great ideas become reality. For more great grant ideas, or to submit your own, visit www.refresheverything.com.

A HUGE THANK YOU TO PEPSI AND DEMI for recognizing the needs of human trafficking victims and responding to them!!!

VOTE TODAY @ www.facebook.com/refresheverything AND HELP DEMI GET THIS GRANT!!!

PS. Demi has always been one of my mentors as one of the strongest women in Hollywood who kept her femininity while keeping it real!!!